Peri-Menopause and ADHD: When the Wheels Fall Off (Twice)

Peri-menopause has a way of shifting the ground under your feet. Add ADHD into the mix, and suddenly the things you thought you had a handle on can feel slippery, unpredictable, and harder to manage than before.

Here’s what it looked like for me:

Mentally: The Fog Rolled In

ADHD already makes executive functioning feel like a high-effort sport. With peri-menopause, it is as if someone has added a layer of fog over the whole game. Sequencing tasks, remembering details, holding focus — everything takes twice as much effort. Life keeps moving around me, but I some days feel like I am watching it through a slightly misted-up window, never quite as sharp as before.

Physically: A Bit Off, Every Day

Nothing is dramatically wrong, but very little feels right. Aches, bloating, dodgy skin, hair that won’t behave — just small shifts that add up. Each day I have had to adjust depending on how my body felt, and that ongoing negotiation is tiring. It’s not about vanity; it is about the constant energy drain of needing to problem-solve my body on top of everything else.

Emotionally: No Buffer

Emotional regulation has always been a quiet challenge with ADHD, and peri-menopause tipped that balance further. My tolerance shrank before anything else. Little frictions felt bigger. I sometimes moved through the day like I’d lost my buffer — as if everything reached me more directly, without that extra layer of skin to soften the impact. Even ordinary conversations have felt heavier than they should.

The Wake-Up Call

Thankfully, my husband spotted what was happening before I did. He knows my rhythms, my patterns, and he could see that something had shifted. I had been so busy subconsciously accommodating my ADHD for years that I didn’t recognise the change — I just knew everything felt harder.

And thankfully, I already had my ADHD diagnosis. That diagnosis gave me language, context, and a starting point to research how peri-menopause uniquely impacts neurodivergent women. Spoiler: it hits harder. Oestrogen fluctuations amplify ADHD symptoms, and suddenly the scaffolding I’d built to keep things running smoothly wasn’t holding up.

The Fight for Support

So I did what so many women have to do: I asked for help. And like so many women, I got told no.

One male gynaecologist recommended anti-depressants because “it’s a natural part of ageing.” And yes, technically, he’s right. But just because something is natural doesn’t mean we can’t use the tools available to soften the blow. I didn’t want to grit my teeth and soldier through — I wanted support. Hormonal, medical, lifestyle — whatever it took not to burn my life down in the process.

So I kept asking. I kept learning. And eventually, I found a way forward.

What I’ve Learned

The biggest takeaway? Understanding the role oestrogen plays in ADHD and executive functioning across our entire lives: puberty, reproductive years, pre-natal, post-natal, peri, and into menopause. It’s a thread that runs through it all.

For me, that understanding has meant:
✨ Knowing myself better.
✨ Advocating for what I need.
✨ Choosing a path that supports not just me, but my family too.

Final Thought

Peri-menopause with ADHD is no joke. It’s disorienting, exhausting, and at times, downright brutal. But it’s also a powerful reminder that our bodies and brains deserve support, not dismissal.

So if you’re in this season too: you’re not weak, you’re not imagining it, and you’re definitely not alone. You’re navigating two major forces colliding — and the fact that you’re still showing up every day is proof of just how strong you really are.