Some Days I’m Just Sick Of My Brain

Some days, my brain just… taps out.
No warning. No explanation. No gentle decline.
Just flatline.

A few days ago I was flying — ticking things off, feeling energised, genuinely enjoying the momentum that comes when everything finally clicks. And today? I would rather stare at a wall than take even the tiniest action.

My motivation has vanished like it was never here.
My enthusiasm? Gone.
My focus? Missing in action.

All I want to do is dive into something utterly pointless but deeply satisfying — like opening 47 tabs to compare furniture I will absolutely not buy for the new house. My brain wants a dopamine chase, a research quest, a wormhole. But I have things to do. And simultaneously, every single thing feels hard, heavy, boring, blurry — like I’m underwater and the world is speaking through a fish tank.

I know this place well.
I’ve visited many times.

And if I zoom out, I probably know the cause, too: hormones are messing with my executive function, as they do every month like clockwork. Give it a couple of days and I’ll come back online. But knowing that doesn’t magically make today easier.

Part of me wants to give myself permission to collapse into the couch, deep-dive Mormon Housewives, read one of the many books stacked on my bedside table, or spiral into an overly intense research project about something unnecessary.

That rest should be allowed.
But admitting I need it still feels like admitting defeat.

So today, I’m choosing something different — not pushing, not collapsing, but softening.

I’ll pick one or two tiny things that count as success.
Maybe writing this blog post.
Maybe mopping the floor.
Maybe finally opening the box of floor cleaner I bought a month ago (baby steps).
Maybe just drinking enough water.
Maybe one single hour of focused work.

Some days, the kindest and most effective thing we can do for our ADHD brain is lower the bar until we can step over it without falling.

Stop fighting your brain.
Give it a hug.
Let it find a small win.
Tomorrow, with a bit of grace and a bit of patience, it will likely wander its way back online.